I received the following question on one of my posts…
“Steven my question is, once one gives of themselves as I always have, what about the people that so often have taken that for granted and were so inconsiderate, and took kindness for weakness. Please give me your opinion... I have been let down a good amount of times for giving?”
This is the only manner in which I can answer your question. Everything depends on the reason why someone performs a task or provides help. Are they expecting something back in return? Do they need to have some acknowledgement for doing what was the correct and proper thing to do?
If a banana peel or some other slippery substance was lying on the ground, and someone would pass it, I believe one of three things might happen. In my little scenario nobody else is around at the first moment the person has come across the object.
The first would be that a person might think, I don’t have time to stop and pick it up and since I made it safely, I don’t care.
The second scenario might be that someone thinks, I would like someone to recognize what I am doing by picking this dangerous object up and they will congratulate me in some manner. So I will wait until I see someone coming and then they will see me pick it up.
The third scenario might be, that one picks it up immediately to make sure that nobody will get hurt, and just deposits it in a safe spot because they know it is the right thing to do.
This is my first response to your question. Your perspective and other people’s perspective is involved with what takes place in any situation.
Next we should factor in whether you have gone way out of your way to do something because you were asked to do it and the recipient just didn’t take the time to thank you properly because they are not the ‘thank you’ type of person. In this case if this is a friend then you are well aware that you are not going to receive that ‘thank you’ from this person so why keep trying?
You asked for my opinion and I can only give you my experience. I am a giver and everyone around me knows that. I give because I enjoy supporting, enhancing, balancing and creating. I give because I have lots to share and it is fun to assist, whether someone thanks me or not. I do tasks because I like to see them completed and I don’t stand on ceremony over who does what or how much.
All who have worked with me or for me know that I don’t need to receive credit or recognition for what is done by any joint effort. I saw something that I had some familiarity with and just did it. This is how I have been for all of my teenage and adult life. I just believe in providing service or help without any strings attached or needed.
This being said, I totally understand that every person has different needs and interacts with people in a variety of ways. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be respected, acknowledged or properly compensated for actions that are taken in support for another person. Responses and actions are based upon perspective, upbringing, awareness, and norms within certain groups.
I am familiar with several people who have told me that their boss or head of their family only acknowledges them when they do something wrong, according to their superior. The giver could have accomplished the most unbelievable result and they don’t receive a thank you or any acknowledgement at all. They are told, you should have accomplished that anyway! If they perform the slightest thing in less than what was expected and they are chastised.
There are billions and billions of people and billions and billions of slightly different reactions that people will make in the same situation.
My suggestion would be to align yourself with people who appreciate beauty, love, and honesty and have a reverence for life. People who smile, laugh and have fun. I believe you will find a better reception for those things you’ve done to help someone else.
I hope this is helpful…it is only my opinion of course.
With love, in love and through love to all who read these lines.